


Hanamaki Disease

by ArcticLights



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I blame this on Shirin and Michaela, M/M, Memes, Memeteam, Oikawa has a nightmare, none of the boys have it, referenced hanahaki disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9477539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticLights/pseuds/ArcticLights
Summary: Hanamaki Disease: A fictional disease in which you cannot stop saying memes if your love in unrequited.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ButterflyCrossing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyCrossing/gifts), [larryspangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryspangel/gifts).



> -steeples hands together-
> 
> Okay, this all happened because Shirin and Michaela were talking and someone made a typo when talking about Hanahaki disease. This is their fault.
> 
> I just happened to take a day off before Makki's bday for something else, so I guess he gets 2 bday fics. My proposal fic was ready and waiting for this day my son, but I have pulled through and tried to give you the memes you deserve.

“Mari-chan is absent again today.”

 

“Someone said she got hanahaki and it’s been so long that she ended up needing surgery.”

 

“That’s so sad! I hope I never get it. Heartbreak that literally tries to kill you… I can’t even imagine…”

 

Iwaizumi gripped Oikawa’s hand a bit tighter as they walked and gave him a smile.

 

“Good thing we didn’t have to learn.”

 

Oikawa nodded.

 

“Yup! I will always have my darling Iwa-chan by my side.”

 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes as they continued to walk to the club room. Everyone was already there and changing. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were doing a strip tease and Kindaichi was trying to hide behind Kunimi because he was so embarrassed for them. Kyoutani was pointedly ignoring everyone and Watari was poking fun at Yahaba for staring at the blond.

 

Iwaizumi clapped his hands together to get their attention.

 

“Don’t forget, practice is gonna go long today to talk about the training camp next week. If you haven’t yet, make sure you let your parents know since I know some of them tend to worry.”

 

Matsukawa rolled his eyes.

 

“Yes mom.”

 

The rest of the team started laughing and Iwaizumi flipped him off. They finished getting ready and went through practice. The coaches had them all gather around before explaining the camp.

 

“This is going to be a week-long training camp and it’s going to have long hours. Everyone is going to need to bring their futons and you’ll be staying in spare rooms at a nearby home. It’s going to be a good opportunity for all of you, and I hope it will make you stronger. Dismissed!”

 

The boys got up and went back to the club room. They all changed while making small talk and went on their ways back home. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were both showing each other various memes they found on their phones, arms interlocked. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were holding hands as they watched to make sure the other two didn’t run into people or walk into traffic. They parted ways at the street where Hanamaki lived, Matsukawa saying that he was spending the night there.

 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa got to their neighborhood and split off to go to their own homes for the day, making arrangements to meet up again to walk to morning practice. Oikawa’s thoughts went back to the girl who was absent from school and he decided to look further into the disease.

 

The disease had varying degrees of severity and only two cures: getting your love returned or having surgery to remove the flowers. Having the surgery was dangerous and resulted in the feelings for the person being lost forever. Most people tried their luck at confessing early on in their symptoms since the less it had progressed, the safer the surgery. Just in case things didn’t go their way. The longer a person waited, the more the flowers invaded the chest cavity, risking injury to their heart and lungs.

 

Oikawa frowned as he searched through the ways that different kinds of flowers did different things to each person. He couldn’t help but wonder what kind of flowers he would have had  bloom from his chest if he had contracted the disease. He shook the thought from his head. There was no point in worrying over something he was never going to have. He closed his laptop and went to sleep.

 

The following week, the buses were loaded up with everyone’s things and they went off to their training camp. Most of the time was going to be spent doing conditioning and strengthening exercises so there was only going to be one court for practice when they were playing volleyball. The boys unloaded their things into the various rooms. The four third years got one of the smaller rooms, the rest of the starters squeezed into a larger room, and the reserve players were scattered through the remaining rooms.

 

Three days into the camp, one of the reserve players had to leave. His sister had contracted hanahaki, hadn’t told anyone and she was put in the hospital. Everyone sent him off with well wishes and went back to their training. Oikawa thought of different ways to try to cheer everyone up but it ended up being the memeteam that pulled through.

 

They joked around and shared memes with everyone. Kunimi even threw one in without looking away from his task. They immediately jumped on him and claimed him as their son. Kyoutani jokingly called him ‘Kunimeme’ and if looks could kill he would have been six feet under. After dinner the boys all settled into their rooms and talked until they fell asleep.

 

Oikawa woke up with his and Iwaizumi’s futons being on opposite sides of the memeteam duo. He found it weird but let it go. As everyone got up to get ready for breakfast Iwaizumi was much further away from him than usual. He was spending time with other players more and spending far less time with Oikawa than he was used to.

 

Oikawa’s chest was starting to hurt and he frowned while trying to make the loneliness go away. He watched as Iwaizumi treated him like any other person instead of as a boyfriend, and he complained to Matsukawa.

 

“Why is my Iwa-chan ignoring meeeeee?”

 

“What do you mean ‘your Iwa-chan’?”

 

“My Iwa-chan. We’ve been together since we were kids.”

 

“Iwaizumi isn’t property you know.”

 

“No, but he’s my boyfriend.”

 

Both Matsukawa and Hanamaki choked on air and stared back at him.

 

“SINCE WHEN?!”

 

“We started dating before you guys did!”

 

Both boys blushed and looked away from each other.

 

“We aren’t dating though?” Hanamaki mumbled.

 

“Well, we could be…”

 

Both of them flushed impossibly redder and Oikawa flung his hands into the air.

 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T DATING?”

 

“We weren’t dating.” Matsukawa responded while wiggling his eyebrows. Hanamaki chuckled and grabbed his hand.

 

“This doesn’t seem like a bad time to start though.”

 

Oikawa ran his hands through his hair and started grumbling to himself. Everything was out of whack. The love of his life was ignoring him, his friends who had been together for nearly as long as him and Iwaizumi were suddenly saying they weren’t together, their sleeping arrangements were off, everything was just _wrong._

 

Oikawa was wracking his mind over the differences all morning. After their lunch break they were starting their stretches when Iwaizumi came into the small gym. An overwhelming urge flooded through him and before he could stop himself he was shouting.

 

“HERE COMES DAT BOIIII!”

 

He clasped his hands over his mouth and stared back at everyone, horrified. The whole group jumped at the sudden change in volume and both Hanamaki and Matsukawa returned the call.

 

“OH SHIT WADDUP!”

 

They started cackling and high-fived each other. Iwaizumi quirked an eyebrow up at Oikawa as he walked over. Oikawa did his best to hide his face in his hands as Iwaizumi kneeled next to him, face knitted in concern.

 

“Oi, Shittykawa, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, Iwa-chan.”

 

Iwaizumi frowned at him.

 

“You’re acting kinda weird. I’m just worried.”

 

“I’m fine. I think I’ve been spending too much time with these two, that’s all.”

 

“Alright. If you start feeling weird just let me know.”

 

They went to do some drills and Oikawa went to work with Yahaba. Yahaba set a ball to Kyoutani that wasn’t as high as he liked it. He still slammed the ball down and turned to snap at Yahaba.

 

“What the hell kind of toss was that?”

 

Oikawa stepped between them to scold Kyoutani, but instead of his usual captain scolding his mouth moved on it’s own.

 

“Don’t talk to me or my son EVER again!”

 

Kyoutani’s eyes went wide and his jaw popped open in shock. Iwaizumi walked over and placed a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder.

 

“Oi, what’s wrong with you today?”

 

“Ayyyyyy.”

 

Iwaizumi placed a hand on his forehead and placed the other on Oikawa’s to compare the temperatures. He scowled and lowered his hands.

 

“Hey, you’re seriously acting weird, but you don’t have a fever. Do I need to take you to a hospital?”

 

“IT’S A TRAP!”

 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki stepped between them. Hanamaki lead Iwaizumi away saying that they were going to make Oikawa rest as Matsukawa took him away to the room they were using and laid him down on the futon. Oikawa was stressing out to the point where his eyes were staring to well with tears.

 

“What the hell is happening? Why am I acting like you guys? Why isn’t Iwa-chan here to help this stop?”

 

Hanamaki sighed.

 

“If Iwaizumi was here it would just make this worse, Hanger.”

 

Matsukawa nodded.

 

“He’s right. You've got Hanamaki disease.”

 

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”

 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa looked at each other with solemn looks on their faces then turned back to Oikawa.

 

“It’s a disease that’s contracted when you have an unrequited love.”

 

“You meme whenever you think about or come in contact with the person.”

 

Oikawa scoffed.

 

“Sure, Jan.”

 

He slapped his hands over his mouth and sent a pleading look over to the other two. They shrugged their shoulders and gestured that their point was made. Oikawa buried his face in his hands and whined. The other two made him lay down and take a nap.

 

After a couple hours Oikawa came back to practice. He did his warm-up stretches and went back onto the court. He ended up playing opposite the other third years and his team won.

 

Oikawa cheered with his team and turned back to the others.

 

“YOU MAD BRO?”

 

Everyone stared at him in shock. Kyoutani was the first one to speak up.

 

“Surely, you can’t be serious.”

 

“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”

 

Oikawa’s face paled and he ran off. Everyone called after him but he went straight back to the room. He slammed the door shut, locked it, and curled into a ball under the covers of his futon. Iwaizumi slammed on the door and yelled at him to “OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR SHITTYKAWA!”

 

Oikawa curled in on himself further and started to cry. He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he was being shaken awake by Iwaizumi. His face was knitted in concern and both Matsukawa and Hanamaki were hovering over him with matching looks on their faces.

 

“Oi, Tooru, are you okay?”

 

Oikawa launched himself at Iwaizumi and pinned him to the ground.

 

“IWA-CHAN! I CAN’T HAVE HANAMAKI DISEASE ANYMORE, IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY! I LOVE YOU PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!”

 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki started rolling with laughter and Iwaizumi sighed.

 

“We’ve been dating for over a year, Shittykawa. Thanks for noticing.”

 

Oikawa stared blankly back at him.

 

“Huh?”

 

Matsukawa stopped laughing just long enough to ask, “What in the _hell_ is Hanamaki disease?”

 

“It’s a disease where you meme uncontrollably when you have unrequited love for someone…”

 

“Hanger, I’m flattered you named a disease after me. Seriously, I’m touched.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Iwaizumi shoved him back until he was laying down on his futon again.

 

“You were obviously having a bad dream. You’re delirious and you need to stay in bed.”

 

Hanamaki chuckled.

 

“Look at Iwaizumi being a _COOL guy.”_

 

Both he and Matsukawa started cackling and Iwaizumi flipped them off. Oikawa curled into Iwaizumi and clutched to his shirt.

 

“Please, no more memes…”

 

Iwaizumi sighed.

 

“Okay guys, you heard him.”

 

“Fiiiine,” they chimed in unison.

  
Iwaizumi banned memes for the rest of the camp. Luckily for Oikawa, there was no such thing as Hanamaki disease. The memes never stopped between his friends, so he had a constant reminder of the worst nightmare he’s ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> I NEEDED TO PUT THE OLD MEME IN THERE FOR MY OWN SATISFACTION! It is one of my favorite lines in cinematic history. Let me have this lol.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [@harvestmoonpeoples](http://harvestmoonpeoples.tumblr.com/).


End file.
